Will The Real Paige Dineen Please Stand Up?
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Happy and Toby amuse themselves role playing their friends. Belated birthday fic for Ermanda.


**This is months late birthday fic for Ermanda, who was so kind as to supply me with a prompt when I needed assistance with my creativity. I found this idea absolutely hilarious and it took me forever to write something I found even remotely share-able. Hopefully you guys get some amusement out of reading it because I just about busted a gut when I found out the prompt.**

 **Set at some point in the future, established Quintis and established Waige.**

* * *

"Can you believe that Paige actually brought some of her stuff over here?"

"I can," Happy said. "We work long hours, with it being summer Ralph sleeps over at Sly or Daniel's a lot, if it's the end of a long day and she doesn't feel like driving home, she has clothes here she can change into in the morning. It's efficient."

"Efficiency." Toby smirked. "I bet Walter finds that hot."

Happy snorted. Toby grinned, settling down on the couch. Happy wandered over to the rack of clothing that was serving as a temporary home for Paige's clothing. She glanced around the garage, straining her ears for any sounds from the kitchen or the loft.

Nothing. Walter and Paige must have gone out to eat. For all her words to Toby, it still surprised Happy sometimes how effortlessly her friends' relationship had progressed. For all their fear based hedging, their romantic relationship was about as solid and happy as one could be. But despite being married – if only in name – to Walter O'Brien for a half dozen years, Happy couldn't _fathom_ what their boss must be like when he and Paige were alone.

Her eyes fell on one of Paige's skirts, folded neatly over a hanger. Walter was obsessed with those things. It didn't take Toby's abilities to analyze human behavior to recognize how Walter's eyes lingered even longer than normal on Paige when she wore one. And Paige was awfully smug about the reactions she got from him, Happy could tell that much.

Smirking, Happy tugged her pants down off of her waist and then the rest of the way down her legs, reaching for the skirt and glancing over her shoulder. Toby was on the couch reading, seemingly unaware of her investigation into Paige's clothing. Happy stepped into the garmet realizing as she pulled it up her legs that she did enjoy the slight flare. Zipping up the skirt, Happy adjusted how it sat on her hips and turned, falling into her best attempt at a saunter. "Hey doc."

Toby didn't look up. "Yes, my dearest?"

Happy dropped her voice, hoping to sound playful and seductive at the same time. "How about a little...role play. Shall we?"

She had his attention instantly, but then he frowned, cocking his head in confusion. "Why are you wearing..."

"What do you think _Walter and Paige_ are like?" She asked, her voice changing from seductive to mischievous.

"Oh my God." Toby stared at her with wide eyes, then an amused smirk came over his face and he stood up. Adjusting his posture into what Happy recognized was a mockery of Walter's, he cleared his throat, putting on a serious expression. "I'm terrible at emotions, but as Toby would say..." he put a hand on his hip. "Hot damn."

"You would not say that," Happy said. "You'd be a lot more obnoxiously poetic."

"But that's what Walter would _think_ I would say," Toby pointed out. "Come on, Hap, play along. This was your idea."

"Sorry." Happy shifted her hips from side to side. "You always did enjoy these skirts."

"You always did look... _stunning_...in them."

The use of Walter's favorite compliment alost made Happy break character, but she grunted quietly in the back of her throat as she forced herself to keep up the charade. She swung her hips from side to side again, dropping her voice. "You're acting _especially_ human tonight, Walter O'Brien."

Toby turned away from her immediately, covering his face and snorting. Happy pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. Then Toby turned back, walking toward her and resting his hands on her hips. "I uh...I don't have the faintest idea what he might say here."

"He probably wouldn't," Happy said. "He tends to get tongue tied around her still. Just kiss me."

Toby did. Happy slid her hands up to his neck and he pulled her closer. "Something about how you've changed my outlook on life," he whispered.

"Something about how you've made _my_ life so much better," Happy mumbled back. They giggled against each other's lips, then Happy leaned back slightly. "Get on the couch, genius boy."

Toby stepped backward a few paces and lowered himself onto the couch. Happy crawled over him, her hand running over the front of his shirt. "I've probably told you this before," she said, "but it always amazes me to be with a man with such an impressive brain."

" _Oh yeah_ , baby," Toby said, struggling to keep a straight face. "Talk dirty to me."

"I'm sorry," Happy said, covering her mouth with a hand to hide the smirk. She cleared her throat, sinking back into character and running her hand over the top of Toby's head, dropping her voice. "Your I.Q. is so... _big_..."

"We do _not_ do that!" Came a muffled shriek from the loft, and Happy and Toby both jumped as they recognized the voice as Paige's.

They stared at each other in horror. "Shit," Toby said. "The coms!"

"Not good!"

They jumped off the couch, Happy grabbing her bag and Toby his coat, and they scrambled toward the door. Toby reached it first, flinging it open and the two of them darting outside just as the sound of two sets of footsteps on the stairs reached their ears.

Happy jumped into the driver's seat of her car, and Toby had barely gotten into the passenger seat before she was throwing it into drive and pulling out of the parking lot.

"Oh no," Toby said. "You're still wearing Paige's skirt. _Oh_ no."

"Yeah, big problem," Happy said as she switched lanes. "Because we totally had a chance of getting out of this otherwise."


End file.
